22.5.15

feelings

can we be real for a sec? i know everyone has feelings but im convinced that some of us are blessed (or maybe cursed?) with the ability to feel more. i am one of those lucky/unlucky few. i feel for people i dont even know. for instance, since my accident, ill be talking to someone for five minutes and then they walk away and every so often ill think of them. "what ever happened to that girl?" "i wish i knew how hes doing... if hes okay, if hes happy" and i have to be okay with never knowing. i dont know if im about that... like the boy i was in love with when i was in kindergarten? where is he? i think his name was james... with my accident and all, youll have to forgive my lacking memory. that was like 15 years ago and ill be damned if anyone can remember stuff from that long ago. when i was in my prime... unless 2010-2012 wasnt my prime; meaning i have more to look forward to. well go with that story. of all the people ive ever had feelings for (and theres a lot) james is the one that i want to know where the hell he is. not as bad as i want to know who those 2 guys from new years were. from my early days up until 2012, james is the one i really want to know about. except, with only a first name, i dont think im going to get very far. i dont even think yearbooks were even a thing back in like 2000. actually, thats a lie. they had yearbooks in like the 1950s. someday, i will go back to red hawk elementary school and look in the old yearbook and then like twitter search for him. i was going to say ill facebook search him but then i was like wait, i dont even have facebook so that would be interesting. someday. what if all of our "somedays" were tomorrow? i think ive already posted about this question...  im just thinking out loud. speaking of which, my mom and Billiam went to Ed Sheeran the other night. my mom loves Ed Sheeran. like i do, i feel like singers are trying to say something in what theyre singing; Loggy is a sex fiend, Josh Cocktail and Mikey love to be stoned, TSwift is in love with being in love, Adam Levine is perfect, Nick Jonas is all oh, look at me, I can be a badass mother ****** too. im kind of over it. i want Radical Something to come out with some new stuff. you know, for all the crap that went down in 2012, it easily was the best year of/for my life. im thinking that Radical Something and 2012 coincide because sometime before my accident that year the band wanted me to do a song with them. hasnt happened because i think theyre kind of over me. they have other girls that live closer that they can seduce with Loggy's face and Josh's voice, plus their music wouldnt be as great as it is if it werent for Mikey's DJ-ing skills. remember how im supposed to be writing about feelings but somehow got to music? ahh, well, feelings; we all have them. its just that some of us are better at pretending we dont. and thats the way the cookie crumbles.
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Quotes

a real woman can do it all by herself, but a real man won't let her.
i would rather die of passion than die of boredom.
a bad attitude is like a flat tire; you can't go anywhere till you change it.
your naked body should only belong to those who fall in love with your naked soul.
what comes easy, won't last and what lasts, won't come easy.
DEAR GOD, IF TODAY I LOSE MY HOPE PLEASE REMIND ME THAT YOUR PLANS ARE BETTER THAN MY DREAM.
today is the first blank page of a 365 book. write a good one.
listen to your heart, even if it takes you all the way to California.
i mean, i could have done my homework today, but i also could have committed murder. so there's that.
it is what it is.
at the beach, life is different; time doesn't move hour to hour, but rather, mood to moment. we move with the currents, play by the tides, and follow the sun.
its not whether you win or lose. its whether or not you have the balls to fight.
everytime i fall, i get back up again.
you dont got to lie, just keep going faster babe, faster babe, why? im on your side, just keep going faster babe, faster bye bye...you just gotta speed a little faster when you drive.
it's all a part of bein young in the two thousand somethin
i don't believe in love at first sight, i believe in makin love tonight.
love notes, written on the streets in chalk, she's a run away train, with a strut in her walk, broken glass in the gutter, yelling at your mother, on the pay phone saying you'll be back by the summer, she's with me now mama, she's with me now mama.
before youre old and wise, gotta be young and dumb.
so we give em a reason, come and catch us, but dont hold your breath.
TELL MY OLD LIFE THAT I'M LEAVIN, I'M LEAVIN RIGHT NOW.