17.3.14

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Again, I didn't name this post because I don't know what it's about or what I want to say. I normally know what I want to say in my posts, but lately, I have no idea.

                                     I don't know what I want say.

                         Hell, at this point, I can't even think about what I want to say. If you could read my brain, it would be a lot of nothing. My mind has flat lined, it's dead. If I try to think about what I want to say, I'm stumped. And then I'm frustrated. Frustrated about everything. Frustrated at my mom. Frustrated at being told what I can and can't do. Frustrated that I got in my accident. But also really grateful that I did. I don't know what/how I feel... that's the bottom line. I JUST DON'T KNOW.

                           And then I'm mad at myself because I want to be normal (because normal people know things like that, right?). I do, but I don't. Like what's normal to you? And what's normal to you? What's normal to you people is not normal to me. I guess that normality is in the eye of the beholder. The only thing that makes me feel better about this subject is the knowledge that most people could not meet me and know that I have a really brain injury. And the doctors who declared that I would never be able to walk again, or talk again, don't know squat. I'm sure that I heard one of them say that I wouldn't/couldn't do such and such ever again and I thought in my brain, "oh yeah? watch me." Cause I'm sure that if I was coherent enough to be thinking the never ending stream of cuss words like I was, I was coherent enough to think that they can take a long walk, off a short pier.

                                                               So there's my thoughts for today.

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Quotes

a real woman can do it all by herself, but a real man won't let her.
i would rather die of passion than die of boredom.
a bad attitude is like a flat tire; you can't go anywhere till you change it.
your naked body should only belong to those who fall in love with your naked soul.
what comes easy, won't last and what lasts, won't come easy.
DEAR GOD, IF TODAY I LOSE MY HOPE PLEASE REMIND ME THAT YOUR PLANS ARE BETTER THAN MY DREAM.
today is the first blank page of a 365 book. write a good one.
listen to your heart, even if it takes you all the way to California.
i mean, i could have done my homework today, but i also could have committed murder. so there's that.
it is what it is.
at the beach, life is different; time doesn't move hour to hour, but rather, mood to moment. we move with the currents, play by the tides, and follow the sun.
its not whether you win or lose. its whether or not you have the balls to fight.
everytime i fall, i get back up again.
you dont got to lie, just keep going faster babe, faster babe, why? im on your side, just keep going faster babe, faster bye bye...you just gotta speed a little faster when you drive.
it's all a part of bein young in the two thousand somethin
i don't believe in love at first sight, i believe in makin love tonight.
love notes, written on the streets in chalk, she's a run away train, with a strut in her walk, broken glass in the gutter, yelling at your mother, on the pay phone saying you'll be back by the summer, she's with me now mama, she's with me now mama.
before youre old and wise, gotta be young and dumb.
so we give em a reason, come and catch us, but dont hold your breath.
TELL MY OLD LIFE THAT I'M LEAVIN, I'M LEAVIN RIGHT NOW.