30.7.15

all the things i would be doing right now

originally this was supposed to be 'all the things youd be doing right now if you werent in school' and im not in school. not only did i graduate from ATEC but they had me sign this paper that says that my traumatic brain injury is healed. im sorry but you guys are so dumb. this TBI i have will never be healed. end of story, bye-bye, see you later. in signing that stupid peice of paper, i really Fed myself over because now i dont qualify for any of the services that i didnt want while i had them but am realizing now that i need them.
if i were in school, i think i would be forming a stomach ulcer, from yearning to be outside.
if i were in school, i would be hitting my head on the desk. repeatedly.
if i were in school, i would be wondering why i was the only one there. am i in trouble or something?
if i were in school, i would be wondering if i should kill myself (put me out of my misery)
if i were in school, after thinking that, i would hate myself, hate summer school, D-all of the above.
if i were in school, i can only hope that Nelson is there to kill time with me. plus i want to be an English teacher with a minor in creative writing.
if i were in school, i would take all the classes they didnt make me take so they could graduate me with 21 credits.
p.s. who the hell thought of that plan? they should be fired.
all the things i would be doing if i were at work (oh yeah, i was fired, let go, whatever)
if i were at work, i would be bagging groceries
which i was never fast enough
if i were at work, i would mostly likely be getting in trouble for something
because i always was
if i were at work, i would be making out with Jesse in the back cooler
it only happened twice and then im sure he bitched to one of my managers and thats probably why they fired me. well that and the fact that i had that mishap with Zac...
and i know he complained to every single one of my managers.
so whatever. i was going to try and explain myself to them but theyve been out to cook my goose since day one and then Jacque was saying why are you going to try and talk to them if they just want to fire you?
and i was like good point.
so Smith's can kiss my ass.
i have a finger for you guys that i will wave loud and proud.
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Quotes

a real woman can do it all by herself, but a real man won't let her.
i would rather die of passion than die of boredom.
a bad attitude is like a flat tire; you can't go anywhere till you change it.
your naked body should only belong to those who fall in love with your naked soul.
what comes easy, won't last and what lasts, won't come easy.
DEAR GOD, IF TODAY I LOSE MY HOPE PLEASE REMIND ME THAT YOUR PLANS ARE BETTER THAN MY DREAM.
today is the first blank page of a 365 book. write a good one.
listen to your heart, even if it takes you all the way to California.
i mean, i could have done my homework today, but i also could have committed murder. so there's that.
it is what it is.
at the beach, life is different; time doesn't move hour to hour, but rather, mood to moment. we move with the currents, play by the tides, and follow the sun.
its not whether you win or lose. its whether or not you have the balls to fight.
everytime i fall, i get back up again.
you dont got to lie, just keep going faster babe, faster babe, why? im on your side, just keep going faster babe, faster bye bye...you just gotta speed a little faster when you drive.
it's all a part of bein young in the two thousand somethin
i don't believe in love at first sight, i believe in makin love tonight.
love notes, written on the streets in chalk, she's a run away train, with a strut in her walk, broken glass in the gutter, yelling at your mother, on the pay phone saying you'll be back by the summer, she's with me now mama, she's with me now mama.
before youre old and wise, gotta be young and dumb.
so we give em a reason, come and catch us, but dont hold your breath.
TELL MY OLD LIFE THAT I'M LEAVIN, I'M LEAVIN RIGHT NOW.