22.10.15

Willpower

I get why God wanted us to choose for ourselves. He wanted to see if we were going to choose the way He designed us to or not. I totally understand that, I do. But why, for the love of Pete, doesn't He at least send someone down with an instruction manual? Maybe he did, Joseph Smith, right? But He only sent Joseph down with instructions on how to start the Church. And even then, a lil how-to pamphlet is a long stretch from what really went on. I suppose Patriarchal Blessings are kind of like a how-to pamphlet. I got mine in 2011 and while it told me I would someday have an eternal companion, I'm pretty sure it didn't tell me anything about how I should go about finding one of those. I know that I'm supposed to be a good little Mormon girl, but that's about it. And sometimes, just being a good little Mormon girl is hard. Don't get me wrong. I love being LDS and I love the people it's brought into my life, and I'm trying to just be in the world and not of it, but especially in today's world, when the LDS church is frowned upon, life gets frustrating. I know I'm not supposed to want the kind of life where it's just who cares but I do because just for one day, I want to not feel like everyone is watching and know that the mistakes I made today, aren't going to be hanging over me forever. I know that through Christ's atonement, all of our wrongs are forgiven,  and God remembers them no more, but how is that going to work with all the non-members? I know that I should know it's none of my concern and all part of God's plan, but what if that plan doesn't end up working out for me? All I want is to marry James and live happily ever after, but what if it's not in tune with the The Plan? That just might kill me. I can't even. So pray for me. Pray that I will know if it's right for me to marry James. kthanksloveyoubye 
-Kirsten
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Quotes

a real woman can do it all by herself, but a real man won't let her.
i would rather die of passion than die of boredom.
a bad attitude is like a flat tire; you can't go anywhere till you change it.
your naked body should only belong to those who fall in love with your naked soul.
what comes easy, won't last and what lasts, won't come easy.
DEAR GOD, IF TODAY I LOSE MY HOPE PLEASE REMIND ME THAT YOUR PLANS ARE BETTER THAN MY DREAM.
today is the first blank page of a 365 book. write a good one.
listen to your heart, even if it takes you all the way to California.
i mean, i could have done my homework today, but i also could have committed murder. so there's that.
it is what it is.
at the beach, life is different; time doesn't move hour to hour, but rather, mood to moment. we move with the currents, play by the tides, and follow the sun.
its not whether you win or lose. its whether or not you have the balls to fight.
everytime i fall, i get back up again.
you dont got to lie, just keep going faster babe, faster babe, why? im on your side, just keep going faster babe, faster bye bye...you just gotta speed a little faster when you drive.
it's all a part of bein young in the two thousand somethin
i don't believe in love at first sight, i believe in makin love tonight.
love notes, written on the streets in chalk, she's a run away train, with a strut in her walk, broken glass in the gutter, yelling at your mother, on the pay phone saying you'll be back by the summer, she's with me now mama, she's with me now mama.
before youre old and wise, gotta be young and dumb.
so we give em a reason, come and catch us, but dont hold your breath.
TELL MY OLD LIFE THAT I'M LEAVIN, I'M LEAVIN RIGHT NOW.