28.12.15

Food is Love

When I fall in love the first thing I want to do is cook for you. Not because you can't do it for yourself, but because you shouldn't have to. ....
Fond memories burn forever, and they never last. ....
I often go all day without eating. Because food is love, you see. ....
Grocery stores are unbearable. I mean, walking around with my pathetic little basket, foraging for food, what good is being a man if I'm not feeding someone, loving someone, or being someone to someone? ....
It's not like it matters. It's not like this compost heap is fertile soil. I'm just gonna dig it all up when I get home anyways. It's not like it matters. It's not like everything that falls from my mouth isn't dead already. They keep telling me I've got to learn to love myself first. I don't even know what that means. I mean, how do I love all this empty?

So profound. When it was just me vs. the world, this was exactly how I felt. It's like when my mom is telling me that it wasn't just hard for me, it was hard for everyone. Well forgive me if I'm hesitant to feel bad for my siblings because they didn't have to deal with all the physical, spiritual, mental and emotional pain I did. When was the last time any of them had to wake up to find out that they have to relearn EVERYTHING on a shattered pelvis, among other broken bones, and a traumatic brain injury? It's not just that, have they ever had to hear doctors talk amongst themselves and/or to your parents and tell them that you probably won't live, and if you do, you'll spend the rest of your life brain dead? Yeah, none of them ever have. Am I brain dead? Depends on who you ask/what part of my brain you're talking about, but for the most part, no, I'm really not. I have finally learned how to love myself. I can't really say that I did before. I knew other people loved me, because I'm fun to make out with, or because I'm a really fun/crazy friend, I loved me because other people did. When it's just you against everything, it gives you a whole new perspective on everything. 
This video was really so good and I agree with everything he was saying. Except the being single for 400+ days. A few months ago, I would have agreed but not anymore. I love you, James. 
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Quotes

a real woman can do it all by herself, but a real man won't let her.
i would rather die of passion than die of boredom.
a bad attitude is like a flat tire; you can't go anywhere till you change it.
your naked body should only belong to those who fall in love with your naked soul.
what comes easy, won't last and what lasts, won't come easy.
DEAR GOD, IF TODAY I LOSE MY HOPE PLEASE REMIND ME THAT YOUR PLANS ARE BETTER THAN MY DREAM.
today is the first blank page of a 365 book. write a good one.
listen to your heart, even if it takes you all the way to California.
i mean, i could have done my homework today, but i also could have committed murder. so there's that.
it is what it is.
at the beach, life is different; time doesn't move hour to hour, but rather, mood to moment. we move with the currents, play by the tides, and follow the sun.
its not whether you win or lose. its whether or not you have the balls to fight.
everytime i fall, i get back up again.
you dont got to lie, just keep going faster babe, faster babe, why? im on your side, just keep going faster babe, faster bye bye...you just gotta speed a little faster when you drive.
it's all a part of bein young in the two thousand somethin
i don't believe in love at first sight, i believe in makin love tonight.
love notes, written on the streets in chalk, she's a run away train, with a strut in her walk, broken glass in the gutter, yelling at your mother, on the pay phone saying you'll be back by the summer, she's with me now mama, she's with me now mama.
before youre old and wise, gotta be young and dumb.
so we give em a reason, come and catch us, but dont hold your breath.
TELL MY OLD LIFE THAT I'M LEAVIN, I'M LEAVIN RIGHT NOW.