9.3.16

Dear James

Why? Why did you leave? Why, if you still love me, did we break up? Breaking up is supposed to be mutual. I don't feel the same way in the slightest. I guess I can see how you thought I did, but my mom told me to tell you I also felt that way, which is a far cry from the truth, and you knew that she did, because I got in the truck and told you. I spent an hour in therapy last night crying about you and the whole situation we're in. I want you to come back. I want you to stay. You tell me that you're sad about this too and that you're an emotional disaster, but if that's the case, then why are you still gone? How long is this supposed to last? You told me before all this bullshit went down that you were wanting to propose or something before you left but I'm sure that's not the case anymore, so I guess that was bullshit too. I know I told you that I've never really gone on dates but now that you're done with me, it looks like I'm doomed to be a lonely loner, a spinster for the rest of my life. So thanks. You were my only hope. I know I told you that I'd wait for you, and while part of me still wants to, most of me doesn't want to. Get married to someone else, be the most beautiful bride, send you pictures and be like see? This is what you could've had. I might but that would require me to actually date someone. Someone who likes me enough to pop the question. I don't want to, I just want to date you. My dad says that it just shows you what kind of man they are if when things get a little hard, they gtfo, run to the hills. Not his exact words but you get the point. I just never thought that would be you. You don't even have the balls to say "I think we should break up" you say your bishop told you to and that you're trying to follow what he said. Hiding behind other people. The worst part of all this is if I say I'm ashamed of your behavior, then why am I asking you to stay? I don't really know. I guess it's because I just woke up and the thought that the other side of the bed might always be empty breaks me. Come back.

❤️ Kik




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Quotes

a real woman can do it all by herself, but a real man won't let her.
i would rather die of passion than die of boredom.
a bad attitude is like a flat tire; you can't go anywhere till you change it.
your naked body should only belong to those who fall in love with your naked soul.
what comes easy, won't last and what lasts, won't come easy.
DEAR GOD, IF TODAY I LOSE MY HOPE PLEASE REMIND ME THAT YOUR PLANS ARE BETTER THAN MY DREAM.
today is the first blank page of a 365 book. write a good one.
listen to your heart, even if it takes you all the way to California.
i mean, i could have done my homework today, but i also could have committed murder. so there's that.
it is what it is.
at the beach, life is different; time doesn't move hour to hour, but rather, mood to moment. we move with the currents, play by the tides, and follow the sun.
its not whether you win or lose. its whether or not you have the balls to fight.
everytime i fall, i get back up again.
you dont got to lie, just keep going faster babe, faster babe, why? im on your side, just keep going faster babe, faster bye bye...you just gotta speed a little faster when you drive.
it's all a part of bein young in the two thousand somethin
i don't believe in love at first sight, i believe in makin love tonight.
love notes, written on the streets in chalk, she's a run away train, with a strut in her walk, broken glass in the gutter, yelling at your mother, on the pay phone saying you'll be back by the summer, she's with me now mama, she's with me now mama.
before youre old and wise, gotta be young and dumb.
so we give em a reason, come and catch us, but dont hold your breath.
TELL MY OLD LIFE THAT I'M LEAVIN, I'M LEAVIN RIGHT NOW.