5.4.16

Once upon a time

In a land far away, I was a child. 
I was a sun tanned, California child. 
But then again, you're a born-and-raised Californian.
I'm just a raised Californian. 
Once upon a time, we were going to get married. 
You say that now you don't know. 
That your gut/spirit hasn't told you that us being together is wrong. 
I hope that's not the reason you're still with me. 
"I'm just here because I haven't been told otherwise"
I know that I promised myself I wouldn't take you back this time but do you remember when you told me you love me? 
And then you keep telling me that you do?
I just hope that it's still true. 
You know that I worry that I'll never find anyone who will love me like you do. 
Bill likes to randomly remind me that I'm beautiful. 
It would seem that you two are the only ones who seem to think so. 
You guys and the random few & far between guys that stare at me from their cars on the freeway. 
You would think that that would make me feel attractive but it's not what I think about all the time. 
You are. 
I haven't seen you in a few days (or maybe it's weeks) and I miss you. 
Looks like I'm not going to see you in the next few weeks
Because beautiful Cal-I-for-ni-a (Beach Boys) is calling my name
For a few weeks
I'll be back on the 25th
At like 9
You need to finish art school anyways
And it would be best for me to not be here
So you can focus
I'm trying to not be so dependent on you but that's kind of what a husband is supposed to do. 
Take care of his wife, ya know?
I know we aren't married yet but we'll be together for the rest of our lives and I want it to be a smooth transition. 
And then I'm worried that you're going to read this and tell me that it's too whiney and depressing. 
James Walter West. This blog, MY blog, is how I express myself, how I keep myself from getting depressed. 
I don't write for you, kind of like how I don't live like anyone else would want me to. I live how I want me to so in turn I'll write how I want me to. I love you tho. 
-Kik
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Quotes

a real woman can do it all by herself, but a real man won't let her.
i would rather die of passion than die of boredom.
a bad attitude is like a flat tire; you can't go anywhere till you change it.
your naked body should only belong to those who fall in love with your naked soul.
what comes easy, won't last and what lasts, won't come easy.
DEAR GOD, IF TODAY I LOSE MY HOPE PLEASE REMIND ME THAT YOUR PLANS ARE BETTER THAN MY DREAM.
today is the first blank page of a 365 book. write a good one.
listen to your heart, even if it takes you all the way to California.
i mean, i could have done my homework today, but i also could have committed murder. so there's that.
it is what it is.
at the beach, life is different; time doesn't move hour to hour, but rather, mood to moment. we move with the currents, play by the tides, and follow the sun.
its not whether you win or lose. its whether or not you have the balls to fight.
everytime i fall, i get back up again.
you dont got to lie, just keep going faster babe, faster babe, why? im on your side, just keep going faster babe, faster bye bye...you just gotta speed a little faster when you drive.
it's all a part of bein young in the two thousand somethin
i don't believe in love at first sight, i believe in makin love tonight.
love notes, written on the streets in chalk, she's a run away train, with a strut in her walk, broken glass in the gutter, yelling at your mother, on the pay phone saying you'll be back by the summer, she's with me now mama, she's with me now mama.
before youre old and wise, gotta be young and dumb.
so we give em a reason, come and catch us, but dont hold your breath.
TELL MY OLD LIFE THAT I'M LEAVIN, I'M LEAVIN RIGHT NOW.