I was a sun tanned, California child.
But then again, you're a born-and-raised Californian.
I'm just a raised Californian.
Once upon a time, we were going to get married.
You say that now you don't know.
That your gut/spirit hasn't told you that us being together is wrong.
I hope that's not the reason you're still with me.
"I'm just here because I haven't been told otherwise"
I know that I promised myself I wouldn't take you back this time but do you remember when you told me you love me?
And then you keep telling me that you do?
I just hope that it's still true.
You know that I worry that I'll never find anyone who will love me like you do.
Bill likes to randomly remind me that I'm beautiful.
It would seem that you two are the only ones who seem to think so.
You guys and the random few & far between guys that stare at me from their cars on the freeway.
You would think that that would make me feel attractive but it's not what I think about all the time.
You are.
I haven't seen you in a few days (or maybe it's weeks) and I miss you.
Looks like I'm not going to see you in the next few weeks
Because beautiful Cal-I-for-ni-a (Beach Boys) is calling my name
For a few weeks
I'll be back on the 25th
At like 9
You need to finish art school anyways
And it would be best for me to not be here
So you can focus
I'm trying to not be so dependent on you but that's kind of what a husband is supposed to do.
Take care of his wife, ya know?
I know we aren't married yet but we'll be together for the rest of our lives and I want it to be a smooth transition.
And then I'm worried that you're going to read this and tell me that it's too whiney and depressing.
James Walter West. This blog, MY blog, is how I express myself, how I keep myself from getting depressed.
I don't write for you, kind of like how I don't live like anyone else would want me to. I live how I want me to so in turn I'll write how I want me to. I love you tho.
-Kik